Bullshit Expectancy and Being a Whole Person

OMG it’s a serious post from Wantsy!!  Yes, it happens occasionally, peeps…

This is a response to this video Bullshit Expectancy

The Bullshit Expectancy stems from people’s innate need to seek what is missing in their own lives.  We tend to look for partners who ‘fulfil’ us.  Partners who ‘complete’ us.  Unfortunately there is nobody out there who is going to be the perfect fit for you.  That sounds harsh but stay with me!

There is nobody out there who is going to be the other half of you because YOU are already a WHOLE PERSON.  This Bullshit Expectancy is when you forget that and start looking to someone else for the stuff that’s missing in your life.  

It’s setting yourself up for disappointment - trying to find that one person who makes you whole because they do not exist.  If there is something you need or want in your life the only person who can get it for you is YOU.  Yes, you might find it in someone else but it’s THEIRS and they can’t give it to you.  You want a man/woman with a career/good character/strong belief system/sense of humour/money/education/ambition/prospects because you don’t have it?  They can’t give it to you!  Only you can get yourself a career or education.  Only you can work on your character.  Only you can decide and commit to your faith.  Get it for yourself and satisfy your own needs because you can’t take it from someone else!

Not only that, but if you DID find it in someone else what if they were looking for something to complete THEM that YOU don’t have?  Again, disappointment.  And if you did find that person and they found what they needed in you?  Well that’s great!  You’ll be two people living in only one life.  It’ll get crowded.  And in the future your needs will change and so will theirs and you’ll find that you don’t complete each other any more and you don’t feel like sharing what you have.  That’s gonna hurt.

When you realise that you are a whole person who can make things happen for himself/herself, you’ll realise something else, too:  You don’t need another half-complete or half-fulfilled person to complete you.  You deserve another whole person to compliment your life, to bolster you up and support each other.  You won’t have to look for that stuff in someone any more because you already have it in you!  

The best part?  Now you won’t have to look for someone who can give you what you are missing.  Now, you can look for someone who just genuinely makes you happy.  That’s hard enough to find, I think, without ALSO asking them to complete you in some way.

Be excellent

Wantsy~